Aim for Awe
Aim for awe: Photo taken at Lagoa, Rio de Janeiro - AIMINGFORAWE.COM
In a world of instability, imbalance and unpredictability, my life fits right in. What once was a sure thing is now upside down, twisted in ways you can't even imagine and broken into uncountable pieces. Yeah, I see your judge-y eyes lookin' at me like I'm some first-world-white-girl-drama-queen. No. It's not as simple as a broken heart. In fact, combine the horror of your first ever breakup with having to re-home your beloved dog and top it off with your mom being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer all in the span of a single month. Because that is the story of my life right now. I guess it's true when they say that bad things happen in threes. But I'm not going to steal your attention and precious time to make you listen to me rant and complain about the tragedy I call a life right now. I'm going to steal your attention and precious time to force feed you that cliché saying that "life is too short". Life IS too damn short. And life isn't fair. Most of us are taught growing up that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. And we're taught that Karma is a mysterious, effective and powerful force. And she never forgets. I pray that this is true, because I'm counting on Karma to get through my list. But my point is, that this isn't always the case. That sometimes bad things happen to good people. And I don't know why but if any of you have the answer, please do share. What I do know though, is that we're not put through what we can't handle. "You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved". Maybe that's why shitty things happen to good people. Because good people are strong enough to get through it, but I'm just here trying to make sense of it all. Speaking of good and strong people, that is the definition of my dear, sweet mother. Her determination, stubbornness, strength and love is what will save her from this wretched mess. Because she is a good person, she is constantly surrounded by good people. Friends. Family. Neighbours. Strangers. The amazing support she and our family have gotten over the course of all this has proven to me that "what you put out there, comes back to you tenfold". She has touched so many lives and her involvement in the community makes her such a loved woman. That is what will save her. The positivity, the energy, the love, the support.
A mother is always there to teach you lessons. How to walk. How to talk. How to cook and clean. She's there for you through the tears of joy and the tears of sadness. Through life's ups and downs. And in her current "down" status in life, she is still teaching me. Teaching me that life is too short. She's teaching me to go after what I want. To stay positive no matter the situation. To not take people for granted. To worry less. To laugh more. Because in the end, what really matters? The people in your life. The experiences you've lived. The memories you've created. The love you have. And all those petty little things? Throw them away, you don't need them.
Go out and do the things you've always wanted to do. Don't hesitate. Because in the end, it's the things you didn't do that you'll regret more than the things you did do. I'm sitting here telling you this while preparing to leave for Barcelona today. My hesitation of leaving my mom and my family during this difficult time is not something that I'm pushing aside easily. Although I'll only be gone for a week, I still can't help but feel guilty for leaving, but my amazing mom is encouraging me to go out and do the things I love. She's unknowingly encouraging me to live life to the fullest. To grab it by its horns and to make the most of the ride.
So this is me passing on my mom's wisdom. A lesson you can't fully understand until it really clicks in your life. You hear it all the time: "life is too short", but you will never really grasp the truth of it until it bitch slaps you in the face. This is my bitch slap. Don't let your bitch slap hit you when it's too late. Do what makes you happy and let go of the rest. Make the first move. Learn a new language. Take a cooking class. Go skydiving. Spend time with your kids. Tell your friends how much they mean to you. Quit your miserable job. Do yoga. Take that trip you've always dreamed of. Explore the world. Do whatever the f*** makes you happy. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, you have every right to find your passion and aim for awe. You owe it to yourself to live life to the absolute fullest.